don't hate...let me be great

nobody loves me this i can tell, they say life is beautiful but mine is a hell, for nobody loves me and this is my truth, but why is the question when my love is true. my friends are not friends they are just people i know, who smile in my face and throw shade on the low. family is like strangers who share the same blood we share the same features but not the same love.   to them im just an image, a picture, a face, not someone to share memories or invite to thier place. but when they need shelter my door is open wide, with food with warm with love all inside.  they enjoy all the comforts and sleep with a smile and when the need passes they toss me aside.  Then speak with disdain like its me they despise how i fed them too much say my blankets are too plush the heat was too high. Im not invited to thier home for that reason or this but i witness them buying the same exact shit. that same plush blanket that same crystal plate, the same one you said was too shiny but yet off you ate.  friends are no better fairweather to say the least, how can we play the same team if im with whom you choose to compete.  its deep cause envy is the root of it all. cause i think "us against them" they think "me against y'all" .  im thoroughly disappointed at the state of this world and silently wonder who reall y loves this girl? Men want my body, enemies want my shine, friends want my downfall, the devil wants my mind, others want my money, some want my peace, but who wants me? every single piece? who can share my success without wishing it was theirs? who can support me in my failures? instead of taking joy that i was there? why does nobody love me? i really need to know, because i dont want false tears after i go. does anybody love me? even see the real me? or do they think i am stone? that i work so hard just to celebrate alone? if i was broke and ashamed would that make me more fun to be around cause you'd be doing better and could at me look down?  if my clothes were tattered instead of fresh from a store woud you criticize me less or still call me whore? if my nails didn't sparkle with rhinestones toes freshly manicured would you quicker hold my hand? if i frowned through life and greeted you with growls would you be more accepting or consider me down? i don't understand.   why does me being who i am make you hate me so much? especially when i see you i only show love. nobody loves me so if i die alone at least ill go to god and finally be at home. He made me as i am and as i am to be so even if no one else approves..,hes there......unconditionally.